chinatroll

Return from NaNoLand

06 Dec 2011 7 Comments

by chinatroll in Uncategorized

I have made it through NaNoWriMo very nearly unscathed. I am a winner! Athena got really excited when I told her this, and even more excited that we were going out for dinner to celebrate. She asked me if I had written my novel faster than everyone else, if that’s why I was a winner. I explained that in NaNoWriMo you’re a winner when you finish. She seemed mildly disappointed but regained her high spirits when she asked if we could go to RBT for dinner and I said yes. RBT is home to the large, green-blue, jelly-laden monster of a smoothie that is garnished with popcorn and a sprig of fresh mint.

There is a little gift-wrapping place just outside of the RBT in Book City, one of the countless malls that dots the city, and they had a sign hanging above what looked suspiciously like a printer. The sign said, in English, that they provide business services. Athena and I sauntered over to the desk after our dinner and I pulled out my thumb drive. I awkwardly said, “Nihao,” for that is really the only way to speak Chinese, awkwardly, and then asked in English, “Do you print?” while waving the thumb drive around and pointing at the printer-looking thing. The woman nodded. I handed her the thumb drive and sat down across from her at the desk on this darling little orange swivel stool. Athena sat in the Pink Walmart Stroller next to the stool. The woman plugged the thumb drive in and we bounced our heads around in the universal sign for “Waiting for things to load on the computer.” I glanced down to find that the Pink Walmart Stroller and its occupant had vanished from my side. Swiveling on the stool I located Athena, who was nudging herself along with the toe of one of her Crocs. I got up and pushed her back to the counter. I pointed to the document that I wanted printed on the thumb drive and the woman opened it. It took a while to load. Athena abandoned the stroller and began running laps, sprinting up a ramp and then jumping down the four stairs at the entrance to the mall behind me. The woman’s eyes bulged, threatening to fall right out of her head when she saw the length of the document I wanted to print. She called her colleague over and they spoke to each other for a while about the crazy white woman sitting in front of them. Athena executed another flying leap from the top of the stairs, landing gracefully at the bottom.

“All?” the colleague asked.

“Yes, please,” I nodded.

A flourish of consultation, and then, “Two-sided or one? Because …” and she pointed at the page number (194) in the corner of the document.

“One-sided,” I said confidently, wondering if there is some reverse Heimlich maneuver that one uses to stuff peoples eyes back into their sockets. They gulped and started giggling as the first woman executed the command to print on the computer. The other brought over the first page of the behemoth print job for my appraisal. I nodded approvingly and the women left, giggling inanely, to watch the printer spew out page after page. At one point they both scurried to a cupboard to get another ream of paper, and, giggling nervously, loaded the paper tray with it.
I now have a satisfyingly thick manuscript sitting on the only shelf in the apartment that is too high for Athena to reach, or really even notice.